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The MBA Bride | October 24, 2021

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What Your Wedding Is and Is Not

What Wedding Is and Is NotDefine a wedding. What are some words you use? Some brides would argue heading down the courthouse with a bouquet of flowers and a boyfriend in tow qualifies as a wedding. Others need specific flowers, certain songs, or a Vera Wang dress to qualify as a worthy wedding.

When you initially get engaged, it’s important to clarify for yourself what a wedding is and isn’t. In project management, this is called clarifying the scope or deliverables¬†of project. In order to fully embrace your wedding vision, an Is/Is Not process may be helpful.

This very simply but wonderfully powerful technique will help you and your wedding influencers understand what a successful wedding will look like. Here are the three steps:

1. The Wedding Is

Write a list of everything that comes to your mind when you think: what is a wedding to me? Include food, entertainment, attire, general feel, and attendees.

2. The Wedding Is Not

Write a list of everything that others may reasonably expect to be included in planning a wedding, but which you do not want for your wedding. For example, my fiance and I completely excluded cake from our wedding and replaced it with pies. Although people may reasonably expect a wedding cake, it is not what we want. Is not’s define and restrict major wedding deliverables, allowing you to better focus your effort.

3. Are You Sure That’s What the Wedding Is?

After your list your Is-es and Is Nots, you may need to return to your Is List and move some items to the Is Not list based on resources like time, effort, and money.

What this technique will do for you, busy bride-to-be, is provide you with a series of trade off decisions listed out. Doing so will help you to see your realistic vision faster, easier, and more effectively early on in the wedding planning process.

Just like I had pie on my Is Not list, what is on your Is Not list?

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