|A class water cooler scene|
Inviting co-workers to your wedding is tricky. When I first started planning my wedding, one of my co-workers told me, “invite who you want to your wedding from work and don’t invite those that you don’t want there.” While she was trying to impart her wisdom onto me, I found myself even more confused as to what to do. I want to invite the right people to my wedding just as much as I don’t want to be considered the rude b*tch because I didn’t follow wedding etiquette rules at the office.
Business-savvy brides have to weigh the office politics along with individual personalities in the work place. After all, the last thing a bride wants is to have stress at work before and after her wedding because of poor etiquette. While we all look for a rule of thumb to apply to solve the problem of who to invite to the wedding, the answer always is “it depends on your wedding and workplace situation.” Varying factors include:
- The size of your office
- The budget of your wedding
- Culture at your office
- Who your hubster is inviting from his office
- The timing of your wedding
- The location of your wedding
But business-savvy brides can still apply some rules for wedding invitation etiquette at work. Doing so will prevent brides from being the source of wedding cooler gossip:
1. Keep office wedding chatter to a minimum. If you keep your working environment professional leading up to and just after the wedding, you’ll be less likely to have to answer those awkward questions or deal with inappropriate questions from co-workers about your wedding and guest list. Anyone who wants to talk wedding with you do so at lunch or after work.
2. Consider who you would socialize with after you leave the job. When your considering who to put on the guest list, put yourself in your future shoes and consider who you would want to have contact with after you leave your current position. Whether you consider your relationship with that co-worker strictly professional (i.e. you plan to use them as a reference for the long haul) or you see yourself drinking wine with them on ladies nights going forward, you should really invite co-workers that you plan to have a future relationship with.
3. Don’t send a co-worker a Save The Date. You never know what the future holds. Because save the dates go out between 6 months and 1 year before your wedding, there’s a chance that you may leave your company before the wedding arrives. People who receive a save the date should receive an invitation. But, those who receive invitations may not have needed to receive a Save The Date. for that reason and more, its best to not send Save The Dates to co-workers.
4. Never hand invitations out at the office. It’s just tacky. Give them the courtesy of a stamp, for goodness sake.
5. Don’t make your co-workers obvious B-list guests. B-list guests often feel slided and slightly hurt for not making “the first cut.” Miss Manners falls over her chair each time a rude bride sends an invitation to a co-worker immediately before the wedding. Besides, it looks like your fishing for gifts. So just like rule #3, its tacky to send a co-worker an invitation just before your wedding because you want to fill some chairs. Don’t do it!
6. Pick a rule and stick to it. Unfortunately, fickle brides are often perceived as rude brides. You can avoid being both by picking a rule that works for your workplace and your wedding and sticking to it. If you have decided that you are only going to invite people you hang out with outside of work, don’t slip a secret invite to someone you don’t socialize with. Co-workers will always find out that you bent the rules for one and will feel slided that they didn’t have the rules bent for them. So pick your rule and stick to it!
These six principles will help you to navigate the treacherous waters of figuring out if, who and how to invite co-workers to your wedding.
This is definitely a hot button item. Where do you stand on inviting co-workers to your wedding?