|How To Have A Positive Engagement|
Positive attitude during engagement is the key not only to a successful wedding, but also to a thriving marriage.
Albert Einstein is said to have uttered the following: “I think the most important question facing humanity is: ‘Is this universe a friendly place?’” Einstein went on to hypothesize that if you decided that the universe were a friendly place, your positive thinking would likely be mirrored by positive outcomes, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, life would become what you made it through your positive thoughts and behavior.
So staying positive during your life, and particularly during your engagement and wedding planning, is not simply the result of good “karma,” but involves a decision to cultivate and nurture motivational habits that are within your reach: humor, generosity, positive focus, balance and self-care, and positive thinking!
Perhaps the most important desired wedding goal is to create a joyful and memorable experience for the two of you and your loved ones. If this were your intended overall goal, then an important resolution during your engagement would be to change any attitude that could undermine you achieving your desired goal. If it is most important to you that through your wedding and life together you achieve joy and fulfillment—then let that be your focus during your engagement. Allow the following 5 principles to guide you:
1. Humor. Not everything is going to go exactly as planned so go with the flow. Do you know that control is actually an illusion? Ask yourself: How important is this detail in the greater scheme of our life together? How might I lighten up and relax, trusting that all is happening in its own “perfect” way? Nothing will get you back into balance any better than a good laugh. In fact, a deep belly laugh is like an internal massage, relaxing you all over—relieving your stress and enhancing your mood.
2. Generosity. A generous spirit will take you far. Generosity may or may not have anything to do with money. How often do you compliment others in your planning circle who are meeting or exceeding your expectations—from vendors to wedding party to your fiancé? Every positive thing you say or do creates a deposit in the emotional bank accounts of those involved. It is these accounts you will draw from through your engagement and marriage—every day.
3. Positive focus. Your perceptions create your world, and your world is affected by what you focus on and pay attention to. Is your engagementuniverse a friendly place? Focus on your successes rather than your challenges, “what is” instead of “what if.” Ask yourself: What went well today? How might I remove resistances I am creating or experiencing? What one thing might I start, stop, or change to create a more positive, winning attitude today?
4. Balance and Self-Care. Remember that you consist of body, mind, and spirit, and that for true balance, these three elements must be in harmony. Ask yourself: What self-care practice will I do daily to renew my energy—e.g., exercise, meditate,journal, work with positive affirmations? What one thing can I do to enhance my environment, make me feel supported, and improve my creative planning—e.g., listen to inspiring music, bring in fresh flowers each week, use a pinterest board for creative expression?
5. Positive thinking. When you wake up each morning, before getting out of bed, take one moment to feel gratitude for the wonderful day you plan to have. Then specificallyset one intention consciously for each day. This intention will remind you to stay balanced and positive and contribute to your overall theme for joy and fulfillment: “Everything is unfolding in its own positive way.” “Our every good is being met.” “This day is an exciting prelude to our joyful marriage together.”
Staying positive during your engagement is the result of holding a positive attitude and perceiving the world as a friendly place. So when met with a challenge, simply ask yourself: On our 25th Anniversary, how important will this be?
Visit www.heartliving.com for more ideas on how to stay positive!
This is a guest blog post by Cynthia Bischoff, Ph.D., Heartliving.
Dr. Cynthia Bischoff is a trainer, life coach, and bodywork practitioner. In 1998, she developed the first Heartliving program, Leading from the Heart, and has worked with thousands of individuals to improve their lives. Cynthia has received the BEST OF NORFOLK Holistic Practitioner Award from the U.S. Commerce Association for 2009, 2010, 2011. In addition, she is an executive member of National Association of Professional and Executive Women (NAPEW) and was NAPEW Woman of the Year 2010.