Compound that with the fact that people will reverse the typical logic of business communications and supply the nice-ities in long form up front. In US business culture, we typically get to the point, then ask the “how are yous?” at the end. Many people writing to brides most likely put the nice-ities up front because it tends to come off softer, which is appropriate for a fragile, emotional bride. But you’re not that, are you?
No, you’re a lean, mean, business-savvy bride-machine. And the 2nd principle from Information and Technology Strategies can help you manage your precious time as you move closer to the wedding. People (guests, vendors, bridal party, etc) will contact a bride for one of four reasons:
- To Acquire
- To Learn
- To Bond
- To Defend
Acquire. A bridesmaid may be looking to pick up the shoes she left at your apartment. A vendor may be looking to receive a payment. Your grandmother may be looking for Aunt Janie’s phone number. All in all, people may reach out to you to get something from you, either tangible (shoes) or intangible (knowledge). For inquiries of this kind, you can answer and complete the communication quickly so long as you supply what is needed.
Learn. Does this bag go with this dress? What’s appropriate attire for the church? Learning inquiries come from individuals seeking to obtain your expertise. Treat these inquiriers with a larger amount of care; your message sender is coming to you because he or she trusts you. Unless you’re deliberately looking to burn a bridge, take your time on these inquiries.
Bond. My grandmother called me on Friday night. She heard I got my dress and wanted to talk about it. She was looking to bond with me, nothing more than hear about my experience and re-live it over the telephone. If you can, shift conversations based on bonding to times when you won’t rush through the conversation. I spoke with my grandmother on Sunday night, a time where I could slow down make my grandmother’s day.
Defend. If your brother calls you to discuss the fact that he invited a friend who you think is a huge jerk, he will most likely be stating his case like the local defense attorney. Or he might be calling to persuade you to invite the jerky friend. Regardless, these types of inquiries come in by the ton, so listen attentively to each statement and be prepared to reply in kind with your supporting reasons for your decision. They key here is listening and constructively responding. Even though you’re the bride, the ultimate decision maker, you’d rather be known as an Obama than an Osama, so listen to the people and respond in a kind, but firm way that is best for all.
Bridal Wit Takeaway: Use the four reasons framework above in each interaction you have to cut through the noise and quickly establish what your writer/emailer/facebooker/etc. wants from you. Doing so will help you to manage your time more constructively as you move closer to your wedding date.