Start by thinking of when you were new to a job and the skills you used to fit in with your new co-workers. In particular, at first, most of us sit back and observe the Dos and Don’ts of the workplace. Can you bust out a “your mama’s so fat” joke and everyone take it in stride? Or is it so prim and proper that you must address everyone by Mr. or Ms.? The only way you know is to stop, look and listen.

And that’s what brides should do as well – brush up on the Dos and Don’ts of wedding planning by stopping, looking, and listening. Before you do anything else, stop your action. Look at other brides’ behavior and decide how you feel about it (but don’t say it out loud unless you’re complimenting the bride). Next, listen and read. Buff up on your bridal know-how by reading a book or two. Below are a inexpensive books you can order through Amazon:

• The New Book of Wedding Etiquette: How to Combine the Best Traditions with Today’s Flair by Kim Shaw is highly rated and according to reviewers, has valuable and respectful content.
• The Bride Did What?!: Etiquette for the Wedding Impaired by Martha Woodham is a bit edgier and can be a ton of fun, but does have some so-so reviews due to Woodham’s tendency to focus on the tastelessness of some brides.
• Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette by Sharon Naylor is my personal favorite because it’s a quick read with some crucial rules of thumb that can be quickly used.

Remember, you don’t have to use everything you hear, see, and read. Choose which bridal etiquette tricks you’d like to honor and which you want to deviate from, and understand why. But most importantly, just stop, look, and listen.

Do you have a bridal etiquette experience that you feel compelled to share? Tell us in the comments below.